Friends

Last Sunday at InsideOut, our host became our speaker and spent a few minutes talking about friends.

Friends.

If you get into the right friend group, you'll beast mode high school.

Friends.
Not drinking buddies. Friends.
People who'll keep each other accountable at a party. People who're on the same page. People who've got your back.

I came to the rude awakening I'd been suspecting for a while, and opened my eyes.

I don't have friends.
I have mutual friends, people I kind of know in my kind of classes and sort of gym, but I don't have accountability partners.
I'm on the same page with a few people, but we aren't close.
It's just so hard for me to open up and trust people, yah know? I've only opened up to a handful of people, and for good reason.
I'm afraid my secrets and self are too deep for most anyone to handle.
They might see me as a beast and push me away.

I have friends. Kindred spirits.

One of them has a hectic schedule and goes to another school. Two of them moved several states away. One of them lives halfway across the country. Two of them live halfway across the world.

I have friends, true friends, but they're too far away.

So, I've been praying with more humility than I've had in a long time, and for three days this week, God has answered my prayers.

On Wednesday and Thursday, Chad and Carlee stopped by the gym to train.
I was so eager to see them, I trained for an hour on Monday, and stayed for three hours each day for the other two.
Besides them, some miracle brought Ms. Debra Vega and Chad Harper there too.

On Thursday, God brought me Sydney.
She brought me such joy, I don't even have the words to express it.

So far at my school, I've made at least two semi close friends each year.
Unfortunately, with changing lunch periods, classes, and seats, it's been difficult to keep them.

I hope I can keep the one. Maybe both. Three if I'm lucky.
I don't believe in luck.

It takes one to two years to forge a nice relationship with me. More than two and a little bit of effort, close friends. More than three and a truckload, loyal friend for life.

Syd and I have been friends for about ten years.
I'm sad we're so far away now. I hope we can meet up again in July :)

I may be on my own right now, but I will find my friends. Even if it takes one hundred years. I'll find them. Someday.